By my hand
by Groulien
Summary: When out hunting with Arthur, Merlin is saved from death by Morgana and things begin to spin out of control.  Mergana story set shortly after 4x06.  Rating may change once fictionratings can be viewed again
1. Chapter 1

If there was one thing Merlin hated more than hunting, it was hunting during winter.  
>"Sire, I am sorry to say that I doubt there's still anything alive this time of year." One of the two accompanying knights spoke<br>"I'm not going back empty handed." Arthur said decisively.  
>Merlin shrugged when the knight gave him a meaningful look. <em>He's the king, what do you want me to do about it?<em> Arthur was persistent, he wanted to catch something even if it were nothing more than a rabbit.  
>Another hour passed and Merlin and the knights were freezing their buts off when Arthur finally called off the hunt. He, Arthur, was grumpy because he <em>always<em> returned with something and now his pride was hurt which did not bode well for Merlin's chores.  
>On their way back that they heard rustling in the bushes and Arthur got cocky. As he tried to find out what it was he got pushed off his horse and whatever it was also took down the accompanying knights. Merlin recognized the beast as a cockatrice, Arthur had told him about it after saving him from certain death. The beast had his eye on him, Merlin, who saw best to grab one of the fallen knights' shields. Merlin was launched from his feet by the incredible charge of the beast before he could brace himself. Although he <em>did<em> block the blow he felt an incredible pain as he rolled down the road towards a frozen lake. The cockatrice had already lost it's interest in Merlin and was going after Arthur who was stumbling to get back on his feet. Arthur followed Merlin's path to the lake while trying to protect both Merlin and himself from the beast's assault.  
>"You alright?" Arthur asked between the near rhytmic bashing. "My arm." He replied.<br>Arthur saw Merlin's left arm just hanging by his side, probably broken, and had already brought the shield to his right.  
>Looking at the damage Arthur had unintentionally dropped his guard to the point that the beast's vigor forced him to his back, knocked out. Following the heavy blow it turned it's attention to Merlin once more. Merlin wasn't a fighter and not that heavy, the cockatrice bashed him onto the icy surface of the lake. Thankfully he was more prepared than before and the assault would only leave some minor bruises. An idea came to his mind and began to shout at the creature before it could shift it's attention back to Arthur once more.<br>"Over here you filthy lizard." Merlin began crawling back as the vilainous reptile joined him on the slippery surface. It seemed reluctant to go after him but bravely pressed on further onto the lake. Every time Merlin heard a crack he feared for his life, he wouldn't last long in this water but neither would the cockatrice, which he was hoping for. Then another crack and the beast fell into the water to it's demise. It tried to climb back onto the ice, breaking bits and pieces as it did, but it proved too slippery.

Silence

Merlin let out a sigh of relief. This had definitly been one of Arthur's worst moments of bravery. He stood up, forgetting how thin the ice was, and the ice cracked, plunging him into the water. Noticing that the shield he was still wearing didn't float, it was the first thing he allowed it to depart to the cold depths of the lake.  
>Merlin tried to pull himself up and back onto the ice but with a broken arm it wasn't very easy. He felt like the cockatrice and he would end like it. Then his fingers managed to get some grip on the ice and he was able to keep himself steady. The cold had numbed the pain in his arm, allowing him to use his other hand even if only to steady himself further. Despite his arm's temporary recovery he lacked far too much strength to pull himself up. All he could do was hang there until someone would come to his rescue.<br>"Help!" He shouted. "Help!" He screamed in an unusually pitched voice. He kept calling for help but his cries went unheard and, much to his despair, it seemed that the colder he got, the softer his voice had become became. By the time he decided to call Kilgharrah his voice had become too soft for even the birds to be heard. He was losing the battle with the cold, his lips seemed to stop moving although he lost sense of them long ago. His sight began to blur and darken as he lost his grip until he finally let go, allowing the darkness to consume him but with the comfort that he would be embraced by Freya's arms, even in death.

**AN:**  
>No, he's not dead yet. Wouldn't be much of a Mergana story if it were, would it?<p> 


	2. Chapter 1  Morgana

Morgana didn't really like the presence of the knights in _her_ forest. All they did was hunt what was rightfully hers and she was already barely getting by as it was. Thankfully her spell had worked and the animals had managed to avoid their senses but then something delightfull happened. A cockatrice had appearantly left the Forest of Balor in search of food and Arthur was the next dish served.

The two knights were quickly dispatched of although she found it a pity they weren't dead yet. While Arthur was rolling on the floor she could see the creature's interest in Merlin who grabbed a shield and blocked the cockatrice's attack rather patheticly. Seeing Arthur join and protect his manservant at the edge of lake was revolting. Her two greatest foes fighting side by side, it was absolutely disgusting.

Then Arthur got knocked out of the way followed by Merlin and was now going to finish off the prince of Camelot. Perhaps it was going to be a good day after all.  
>"Over here you filthy lizard!" Merlin shouted.<br>_Merlin, always playing the hero._ She cursed internally.  
>The cockatrice hesitated before stepping on the ice but did so and slowly approached him. Morgana quickly saw what the manservant was doing, luring the beast onto the thin ice. As long as Merlin would remain on all fours the ice would hold him, but not the cockatrice. Morgana wasn't suprised when it finally fell through the ice and hadn't really expect another outcome. But then, then the manservant was so foolish as to stand up. The thin ice had become even more fragile by the hole made by the cockatrice and gave away at Merlin's weight.<br>Morgana's heart jumped with a double emotion. She feared for his life, probably because she was caught in the moment, but was also very excited because if Merlin did have magic, he would now have no choise but to use it.

The manservant had managed to latch onto the ice but lacked the strength to climb onto it.  
>"Help!" He began to scream. The thought of actually doing that never occured to Morgana, she thought he was simply checking if anyone else was around. It's what she would do.<p>

Minutes passed and his screams became softer and softer, but she didn't save him. No, she wanted him to suffer. It had become clear to her that the lanky boy didn't have any magic, incapable of saving himself. The only question that remained was whether she would save him. Unfortunately the issue rose too soon for her to come to a decision. Merlin slipped or let go and disappeared from the surface. Morgana quickly ran to the edge of the lake and broke the icy surface, she didn't have to go all the way there.

"_Ácymest fram meregrund, ar Camelot, ábirsteest inwitgecynd wítebend ond edryne þidercyme!_"  
><em>[Come forth from the depts, servant of Camelot, break nature's bonds and return hither!]<em>|

Merlin emerged from the gap in the ice, unconscience. Morgana pulled him out of the lake and laid him against a tree before even checking if he was alive. Putting her hand against his chest she felt a very slow pulse, it had been close but he still wasn't safe yet.

She thought of killing him right there but didn't, she wasn't the coward he was with his poison. She wanted to see the look in his eyes when he found out she only saved him to kill him herself.

**AN:**

There it is, the missing chapter.


	3. Chapter 2

Merlin woke to a comforting fire. His arm still hurt which meant he was still among the living. He was thankfull and yet slightly dissappointed, he would've liked to see her again, Freya. Sitting up straight he began to check if nothing had suffered beyond repair, black toes and such. Then his thoughts drifted to his companions although this was mostly just Arthur. His surroundings were familiar to him, as were the eyes that had been watching him recover and now staring into his.  
><em>Morgana<em>  
>"Again." He mumbled as he had not forgotten the torture of the last time he had been there, not counting <em>Emrys<em>.  
>A creepy smile crept across her face as she stood up.<br>"Welcome back." He was at her mercy, again, and she couldn't pass up the oppertunity to rub his nose in it.  
>"Don't expect me to thank you." He said coldly.<br>"I don't, Merlin." She returned equaly bitter.  
>"You don't happen to have another Fomorroh laying around, do you?" He mocked her, his voice had recovered more than he had anticipated. Had she healed him again? She did save him which already defied all logic so far. Then again, there had always been more to Morgana than met the eye. The Fomorroh, however, was something he genuinely feared, her will embodied as his only thought was something he couldn't bear. He hoped she didn't sense that fear when he asked but all she did was smile. She always had a clever remark, a defying answer, but now there was nothing and that made him even more nervous.<br>"Why did you save me?" He then asked. Surely she would answer him now, wouldn't she? "Watching you fight the Cockatrice was amusing. They usually don't leave the forest of Balor but then again, we all need to eat."  
>"That's not an answer." He said as he hoped she hadn't become a cannibal. She walked over to him and pushed him against the wall as she grabbed his face.<br>"You killed me. You will die by _my_ hand and mine alone." It still didn't answer why he was still alive, she could've finished him off on the spot already.  
>"What of Arthur?"<br>"What's he to you when it is your life that hangs in the balance?" She mocked him.  
>"Where is he?" Merlin demanded to know.<br>"Camelot I suppose, he probably thinks you're dead and the Cockatrice is feeding on your corpse." She spoke as she walked over to one of the shelves.  
>Merlin saw an oppertunity, he wasn't bound and her back was turned to him. But when he was about to hit him she lifter her arm and sent him flying back against the wall. Hitting the wall knocked him out but the fall to the floor woke him up again.<br>"Your ought to know better, Merlin. You don't _want_ to be in chains again, do you?" He could only groan with the pain that was searing through his arm.  
>"Good." She said, smiling, taking his sounds of pain as an answer. Merlin crawled back to the warmth of the fire, the only comfort to the cold and dark home of it's equally grim owner. <em>How do I always end up in situations like this? My mortal enemy saved me from certain death, just so she can kill me instead. Bloody unbelieveable.<em> He did however wonder if he could benefit from this as well. Nothing came to mind, except food. He hadn't eaten since they rode out at dawn and he saw the sky had become pinkish which meant the sun was setting. An apple seemed to fall from the sky and into his lap.  
>"I can hardly get a night's rest 'as is', I don't need your stomach keeping me up as well."<br>"Thanks." He said suprisingly genuine. Morgana gave him a curious look in return. Merlin had said it without thought, in the castle he had just gotten so used to 'sorry', 'thanks' and 'please', but was glad he did. As much as she was messing with him by saving him, he was messing with her by thanking her.


	4. Chapter 3

**AN:**

Mike3207: I had intended to leave it as a black hole for the readers' imagination but I changed my mind and will probably upload that 'Morgana saves Merlin' chapter together with the next chapter.

* * *

><p>Merlin tried to control his voice as another shock went through his body. His face was grazing the rough stone wall as she pushed his broken arm further up his back. Her forearm she had placed against his neck so he would be unable to keep his head from the wall. Merlin being in such an uncomfortable position allowed her to safely whipser her threats in his ear. "Picking up where we left off. Why are you so loyal to Arthur?"<p>

"You-" Before he could utter another word she immediately shoved his arm further upwards to silence him though it would hardly prevent him from gasping for air as he did. She tutted and remembered what he said last time, questioning her sense of honor and loyalty. But she would have none of it this time.  
>"This isn't about me, it's about you." She replied.<br>"He will make a great king, all he needs is a little guidance."  
>"And you're the one to guide him? With all your good intentions he still treats you like a mere servant." If he hadn't known better he would've sworn there was something of sympathy in her voice.<br>"That's not true."  
>"You keep telling yourself that." She sneered as she once again put pressure on his arm, sending another shock through his body, before finally releasing him.<br>"Don't you ever consider you're wrong?" Merlin asked holding his still shaking hand.  
>"Of course I am, in the eyes of Camelot. The druids, however, will think of me as their saviour once all this is over."<br>"And the blood of all the innocent you killed? Their blood is on your hands."  
>"You're right, it was rather excessive. So tell me Merlin, how does one poison royalty?" He flinched, she had struck a nerve and not a small one either.<br>"I..." He couldn't go on, it was the memory that clouded his usually so innocent heart. He felt defeated, much to Morgana's delight, and sat down next to the fireplace once more.  
>"That's how I felt when I finally came to, and you were the one to blame." She had expected him to become more depressed and hopeless but Merlin was still Merlin who quickly brought himself to his feet.<br>"Then kill _me_ and be done with it!" He shouted. Her magic pushed him against the wall, he could have broken the spell but that would only expose his greatest secret. She came close to him, her warm breath expelling the persistant cold that ruled the air from his skin. Her lips parted and as her jade eyes looked into his he thought, if only for a moment, she was going to kiss him. He was sadly mistaken when she whispered.  
>"Not. Quite. Yet." Then she let go of him as she began to browse her pots and potions. Merlin was confused, internally. Had he just longed for her lips? Was he losing his mind? He always thought he had gotten over it, buried that silly dream of love, and was used to the idea that she was the enemy. Appearantly love and hate were closer to each other than he thought.<p>

* * *

><p>When he woke up the next morning he noticed Morgana wasn't around. For a moment he thought about breaking his bonds with magic but the door had already opened, allowing a very happy Morgana to enter. Seeing her smile unnerved him, she only liked the darker things in life and watching her smile, actually smile, meant something nasty was at play. With Merlin out of the castle, things had become so much easier. She had finally gotten one of her own to join the ranks of Arthur's knights. Of course this man wasn't just any man, he was a sorcerer but not quite as powerful as herself of course. All he needed to do was earn their trust followed by killing Arthur Pendragon. The question remained what to do with Merlin, after he would've seen her take the throne that was.<p>

"You seem happy." He noted in order to get a response from her. "You've thwarted many of my plans, even when you _were_ the plan. But now you're here and unable to hold me back any longer." She said with a villainous smile.  
>"Are you sure it's me you should be worrying about?" She was visibly rattled and it was beyond surpise. She flung at him, gripping his broken arm with one hand and using the other to put a knife to his throat. "Who is he?" She spoke through clenched teeth. "What the hell?" He did indeed hint at <em>Emrys<em> but for all she knew he could also mean Arthur, Gwen, Gaius or even the knights. She soon realised it and let go of him but kept her dagger pointed at him as she backed away.  
>Merlin realized he was becoming reckless, this had to stop or he might very well reveal he had magic or even that he <em>was<em> Emrys.

* * *

><p>Waking up in Morgana's hovel was like the a child's christmas, you'd never know what you'd get. There was a great sensation of deja vu when he heard the shackles reaching their limit above him. The scene reminded him of the Fomorro but if she would try it again he would have no choice but to use magic.<p>

"Since you were so very full of yourself yesterday, I guess it's time to put you in your place. It's time for _me_ to have a bit of fun. You _will_ tell me everything you know."  
>She made a shallow cut on his side as she asked her first question.<br>"Who might suspect sir Ucron?"  
>Wow, he had never thought she'd actually tell her the fake knight's name. Then again, who was he going to tell?<br>"Everyone." He answered defiantly.  
>Another cut and then, since Merlin kept quiet, another.<br>"Stop. It's one of the guardsman."  
>"Go on." She commanded.<br>"His name is Bely Ing."  
>"Doesn't ring a bell."<br>"Well, his full name is of course 'I be lying'." He sort of laughed, his arms were beginning to feel numb and he couldn't breath properly either.  
><em>How dare you make fun of me!<em> She screamed internally _Perhaps a deeper cut._  
>It wasn't much of a cut, more of a stab and Merlin definitly felt it since he gasped for air. "Don't toy with me, Merlin." She spat out his name. She began muttering a spell, a healing spell, and he slowly lost conciousness.<p>

A sharp pain made him wake up. How long had he been out? At least it was clear to Morgana he was having difficulty getting his bearings. By now he felt his fingers had gone numb but also less pain in his still broken arm.  
>"Tell me what I want to know." She commanded but he refused.<br>Merlin stayed quiet for several such "sessions", of hurting and healing, until dusk came and she chose to stop. She admired his stubbornness since she had tortured him almost non-stop. But she wouldn't kill him, certainly not now. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of outwitting her, she had to break him first.  
>Merlin came to once more and was shackled to the wall, instead of the ceiling, once more. It seemed she had either grown tired of torturing him or had her fun.<br>"I never wanted to poison you." he said. Of all the things he could have said, this was most unexpected.  
>"What?" She asked incredulous.<br>"I wanted to tell you that it was you who brought the cursed slumber to Camelot, but I couldn't." His voice sounded so very defeated.  
>"Why not?" She snapped<br>"I wanted trust you but _he_ didn't. I always listened to him and things usually went well but after that day I begun to doubt his every word."  
><em>Emrys<em> she cursed in her mind. _He_ was the one responsable and it was _he_ that had turned Merlin against her. Ultimately everything was _his_ fault.  
>The thought made much of her anger shift from Merlin to Emrys.<br>"Where is he?" She asked gently, almost caring or considerative.  
>"No." It was a solid answer, he wouldn't change his mind on this one but Morgana let it rest. Something inside of Merlin had obviously changed, she was breaking him. Or so she thought.<p>

The next day was fairly uneventful, this was mainly due to the fact Morgana had lost most of her anger towards him.  
>Merlin had thwarted many of her plans, that remained true. But it was no longer his fault that he poisoned her, not entirely.<br>Merlin did pick up on her sudden change in behavior and it left him in an uneasy uncertainty.  
>She sat down in front of him and just looked at him. He could hit her without much effort but didn't, he wondered what had caught her attention.<p>

"There's something about you I can't put my finger on, never could." She said. Genuine fascination for him, he was almost proud of it if only she weren't a murdering witch. "You're resilient, like a weed that won't die." She continued. He raised his brows, it was unexpected and it greatly diminished the pride he felt.  
>"I could say the same of you." He replied. She slapped him, she was in charge, not him.<br>"Don't tempt me." She said with a vile look. She obviously meant the torture, but he needed it, just a little more.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

I know the last line is very... wrong?

I always wondered what would've happened had the interrogation continued (in 4x06).  
>Also, everyone always talks about Morgana's eyes as emeralds while I find them a lot more jade coloured.<br>Merlin's 'opening up' to Morgana is pretty much Stockholm Syndrome though Stockholm Syndrome usually occurs due to a lock of abuse.


	5. Chapter 4

**AN:**

I inserted a new chapter telling how and why Morgana saved Merlin. That chapter is the 'new' chapter 2.  
>Mike3207: I made Morgana blame Emrys because I actually don't know if Morgana knows of Kilgharrah. They have never talked or even seen each other in the series so Emrys really is the only one to blame.<p>

* * *

><p>He hung from the ceiling again and just like then, Morgana was making shallow cuts again. Merlin, although in pain, was glad they didn't leave any scars. When she began torturing him, she used her bare hands but after noticing it nearly hurt her more than it did him, she switched back to the dagger.<p>

Only one question was asked. _Where is Emrys?_

After their sessions, she healed him again and Merlin had achieved what he wanted. His left arm was back to it's former health. He doubted Morgana had even realized she was doing it since her favorite pasttime had become cutting him. She was flipping through what seemed to be her spellbook when she suddenly looked up at him.  
>"Do you remember when we were friends?"<br>Merlin had already come to the realization that they, both of them, tended to open up about the past after the torturing.  
>"I do." He answered truthfully.<br>"Sometimes I catch myself longing for those days." She wondered.  
>"I miss you." Merlin said without thought. He regretted his words but thought it best to keep quiet.<br>"What?" Merlin now looked away, she had heard him and this most definitly wasn't part of the plan.  
>"What did you just say?" She asked again.<br>A very good question indeed but he wasn't going to chicken out. Their talks had been somewhat therapeutical and it was about time he was going to get it off his chest, get rejected, and make himself capable of hating her properly to the point of finally being able to kill her.  
>"Camelot seemed a lot darker from the day I lost you. I was glad and relieved when you had returned but, as we both know, that didn't last. And then the world grew even darker, knowing we would never be friends again and I'd never see that smile of yours ever again."<br>He had done it again, she was staring at him like she did before and he wished he had kept quiet. He basicly said he loved her or at the very least something very close to it. Instead of rejecting him, which would help him follow his destiny, she jumped to her feet and left the hovel in a hurry.

Was he trying to manipulate her, telling her what she wanted to hear? Such sweet words and they seemed sincere but he had tricked her before.  
>He poisoned her and he was doing it again! No, he wouldn't, he said he was sorry. Emrys! Emrys poisoned her. No, it was different. Emrys poisoned Merlin, he poisoned him against her like...<br>She realised both of them were led astray by the people they trusted and in Morgana's mind everything had just come full circle. Emrys poisoned Merlin again her while Morgause had poisoned her against Merlin. This couldn't go on, she should have Agravaine dispose of him before she would lose her mind.  
>Once she returned to her 'hovel', she removed the chains from his feet so she could chain him to the ceiling, only she should've chained him to the ceiling <em>before<em> undoing the restraints on his feet for he was now free.  
>Merlin tried to make a run for it but a blow of magic sent him flying against the wall.<br>Morgana gripped his 'broken' arm and pushed him against the wall, taking the bait, putting pressure on it as she had done before while Merlin faked being burt.  
>The conflict she faced was there for everyone to see. Merlin got the bright, yet cruel, idea of leaning his heard forwards, staring into her eyes and slightly tilted his head for a kiss. When she would begin to give in he would push her away, which Morgana would not expect with the broken arm, and, in the confusion, make a run for it. Unfortunately he wasn't fully aware of how Morgana would actually react to that, let alone know what kind of lover she was.<p>

Morgana wasn't the tender lover he made her out to be and she pressed her lips against his in the blink of an eye. Her tongue had no problem entering his mouth and he found himself enjoying it a bit too much. Her hands placed themselves on his shoulders and pulled him forwards until they reached the bed.  
>Merlin had worked himself in quite a predicament. He wanted Morgana but Camelot...<br>_Camelot can burn._ He thought but saner thoughts soon prevailed, Camelot was his responsability.

Merlin backed away from the bed, panting and afraid that if he left, she would hate him even more. He actually wanted that less than five minutes ago but now that he knew she cared for him, he didn't want to lose their love.  
>"Morgana... I can't..."<br>"Why are you so damn loyal to Arthur?" She had hurt him the first time she asked him, now she asked him when he was hurting her but both times were torture to him.  
>"As much as I care for you, I can't let Arthur die, I won't be able to forgive myself." And with those words Merlin made a run for it. Even if she would hate him for it, at least she would know he cared for her as well.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

Exteremly pleased with this chapter. Merlin _wants_ her to reject him, to confirm she doesn't care for him and never will, so he'll lose his love for her and be able to follow the path set out by destiny and kill her. But that's obviously not happening.

I thought about letting Merlin sleep with Morgana before returning to Camelot but that would've caused damage beyond repair.


	6. Chapter 5

It was dawn when Merlin arrived at Camelot. He made his way to physician's quarters, evading the guards for his 'death' shouldn't come to an end before he knew what was going on.

He cringed at the squeaking of the door. If anyone were home, they would have heard. Believing he had betrayed his presence to anyone present, he peeked around the door.  
>"Merlin, you're back, you're alive!" Gaius cried as he hugged his ward tightly.<br>"Gaius." Merlin croaked under the pressure. Seeing his ward turn blue he quickly let go.  
>"Oh, I'm sorry. Where have you been? Arthur said you were dead."<br>"Doesn't matter." He said though it did of course matter quite a lot, to him, not to Gaius. "Morgana planted a fake knight in Camelot named sir Ucron." Gaius' face grew grim, it confirmed his suspicions towards the strange knight. But things were far worse than Merlin realised as Gaius.  
>"I'm afraid he's more than just a fake knight." He spoke in a tone of suspicion Merlin had come to fear as it only brought bad news.<br>"What do you mean?" Merlin asked, fearing that Arthur's doom had already been set into motion.  
>"He's a sorcerer." Saving Arthur had just become half the task. If Arthur found out Ucron was actually a sorcerer, he would come to loathe magic as Uther did, perhaps not as quickly but it would surely put him on its path.<br>"Have you told Arthur?" Merlin asked though he doubted he had done so. Morgana's plans had always been very calculated, until now. Could he return after this was over? Would she let him? Had he betrayed her? There was no way back. All he wanted was for her to push him away, to put that hopeless dream out of its misery but instead she showed him that part of her had dreamt of it too.  
>"How could I?" Gaius' words made him snap back to reality, the painful reality that he had to protect Arthur from <em>her<em> plan. "Ucron is the one that found him after the cockatrice attacked." Merlin sighed in frustration, this always happened. He knew nothing of the newly appointed sorcerer-knight and had no idea how he would strike. The only sure thing was that he, Merlin, would have to save him in the nick of time like he always did.  
>"Gaius, don't tell anyone I'm still alive, if Ucron finds out we don't know what will happen." If Ucron knew Merlin wasn't supposed to be around, was supposed to be dead or captured by Morgana, a mere whisper could trigger him.<br>"But without you around, how will you know when he'll strike?" Merlin's mind was bouncing every which way, it was seemingly impossible for him to find out.  
>"Gwen!" He exclaimed, she would know. Although things weren't going very well between the two, she still kept an eye on him.<p>

* * *

><p>Morgana was dreaming again but the dream seemed blurred and incoherent, skipping short moments in time.<p>

_She stood in the throne room, Arthur sat on his throne with Agravaine by his side. Merlin was on his knees before the throne, shackled and showing great sadness and regret. The king was angry, filledwith an anger she thought was reserved for her and her alone._  
>"<em>You killed him!" He shouted at his manservant, she didn't want to see it. Despite having turned Merlin against him before, with the Fomorroh she didn't have to witness it. Before she fully realised what was going on Merlin was back on his feet and tried to make his way to Arthur, screaming.<br>"Why are you so blind?" The guards interceded before he could get any further. It pained her to see him like this, trapped with no escape._

She woke but even awake she could hardly comprehend what she'd seen. Merlin had killed a man and would be sentenced to death for it. The manservant, ever faithfull to his king, had murdered a knight before he could prove it wasn't an actual knight. It was her fault, sir Ucron was a pawn in the game she played for control over Camelot. Arthur was to be killed on a hunting trip like other nobility had met their ends before him, it almost sounded like tradition.  
>But there was a way out, a way to change destiny. She couldn't call him off, the sorcerer-assassin held a grudge of his own and acted on his own accord. Agravaine, with all his guile, couldn't stop him either. Only one option remained, to kill Ucron herself.<p>

**AN:**

Shamefully short, I know.  
>I posted this so you wouldn't think I was dead :p<br>The next chapter will probably be equally short but might surprise you a bit (I hope) though I'm having a bit of difficulty writing it.

In the mean time you can read "Bitter and Sweet", a MerlinxNimueh story I posted.


	7. Chapter 6

The next morning Merlin got up later than usual, the time he had spent with Morgana had seriously put screwed up his sleeping pattern. The warlock quickly got dressed and met Gaius as he left his room.  
>"Gaius, do you know where Gwen is?"<br>"Merlin? I though you were up already." Gaius rarely let his young ward sleep for long, it was when he's magic went unchecked and he could usually tell by the ruckus when he was still asleep, this was not one of those times. The court physician wasn't done talking yet as pressing matters had caught his attention.  
>"Merlin, you have to hurry, one of the guards mentioned something about a hunting trip."<p>

_Great, a hunting accident, how original._

Without another word Merlin made a run for the stables and no longer cared who would see him, with Arthur's impending death that would be the least of his worries.

* * *

><p>In the mean time Morgana was on her way to the site where Agravaine had told her, days ago, 'sir' Ucron would strike. Approaching the site she saw them already, she had to act and decided to approach them head on.<p>

"Morgana?" Arthur exlaimed.  
>"Ucron, this ends now." She spoke. This surprised Arthur even more, what the hell was her business with the knight?<br>"Arthur isn't Uther. He never wronged you!"  
>"I don't care, I WILL have my vengeance!"<br>"_Forbearn!-_" Ucron raised his hand and fire emerged in the palm of his hand. Morgana followed the sorcerer's eyes and they weren't aimed towards her but to her half-brother Arthur.  
>"<em>Hleap on bæc!<em>" She chanted without hesitation and sent not Ucron but Arthur flying off his horse.  
>"-<em>Akwele!<em>" The ball of fire would've hit the prince if he had still been on his horse. Agravaine dismounted thinking that whatever Morgana was doing by saving Arthur, he should play along. The treacherous uncle went over to the prince as angry voices, bright lights and intense heat filled the sky. In the distance he could see Merlin, the manservant that was supposed to be dead. The warlock saw the magic duel but also noticed that Morgana did not just shield herself from sir Ucron attacks, she shielded Arthur as well. The witch had to keep anticipating whether his next attack was against her or her Arthur. If there was any good left in Morgana, she was now showing it, for him. Morgana thought that if she were to defeat and kill Ucron, Merlin wouldn't be accused of murder. She had turned the fight around and was winning until she spotted the one that was so dear to her. It distracted her and she was flung into the air, nearly losing conciousness when she crashed down. Stunned and dazed she opened her eyes, before her stood Ucron with a wicked smile.  
>"At least one Pendragon will pay for his mistake." Morgana froze, powerful as she was, she was exhausted.<br>"_Forbearn Akwele!_" She closed her eyes before the fire, her heart sank at the feeling of dying. She heard the explosion and felt it's warmth but no pain at all.  
>"Who did that?" She heard Ucron bellowed, it seemed she was still among the living.<br>"She may deserve death but it's not for you to decide." Recognizing Merlin's voice she opened her eyes. Ucron had turned his full attention to the manservant and the witch found herself unscathed. Ucron didn't know Merlin at all, he looked like a commoner but his magic proved otherwise.  
>"You have magic." Agravaine stated as he helped Arthur get back on his feet. Merlin had magic and he had kept it from all of them all this time. Keeping a wary on the the fake knight, Merlin dismounted and positioned himself between Ucron and Morgana, angering him.<br>"Step aside, that treacherous bitch is mine!" The assassin was distracted, his back facing Arthur. The king took the oppertunity and thrusted his sword through his back. It was done, she thought, the future had been changed for the good of it. But she was still in danger and now she had to save her own skin. Her eyes shined gold and sent Merlin flying on top of an unarmed Arthur. Morgana quickly climbed onto Merlin's horse and sped off into the woords while Agravaine, the caring uncle, thought exposing Merlin had been the plan and knocked out the king's manservant.

**AN:**

Has the nightmare been averted?

It's a bit of a rushed chapter but that's because, for some reason, it was a very difficult one to write.


	8. Chapter 7

**AN:**

Long time no see? I've been neglecting this fic, haven't I?  
>I'm more or less taking time off from 'The Dream of Albion' to update other fics with a new chapters (who aren't 4000+ words each :S).<p>

* * *

><p>Merlin groaned as he woke up with a throbbing headache. He didn't recall who exactly knocked him out but at least he knew where he was, in the dungeon.<br>"How are you feeling?" Asked his jailor, the greatest criminal amongst the knights, Gwaine.  
>"I'll be fine. How's Arthur?" Merlin asked. The King was his main concern. He hoped Agravaine hadn't done anything such as killing Arthur and blaming him for it.<br>"You did quite a number on him." Gwaine told him.  
>"How? I was out cold, wasn't I?" Merlin asked, just what happened while he was out?<br>"He keeps saying you lied to him and he's afraid you've enchanted him." Merlin didn't like the Knight's answer but he couldn't change very much about it, least of all from a prison cell  
>"Did you?" Gwaine followed up and Merlin felt hurt he had to ask. Had today robbed him of everyone's trust?<br>"Healing spells but never to change his mind if that's what you're asking." Merlin said bitterly.  
>"And protecting Morgana?" Gwaine asked which, to Merlin, was finally a decent question.<br>"I owed her."  
>"What? How can you possibly owe her something like that?"<br>"I've almost killed her once." Merlin explained but seeing as he was being vague added "Before she turned against Arthur."  
>This took the Knight's full attention.<br>"I helped start her war against Camelot, I betrayed her." He finally admitted it. He always kept lying to himself that he had no choice but here he was, two years later, and still magic had not returned to the land.  
>"But you had your reasons for doing it, didn't you?" Gwaine asked and Merlin was glad he asked, that the knight did not suddenly start thinking him a conscienceless, murdering sorcerer.<br>"The fires of Idirsholas burned and the knights of Medhir were under her sister's control. Morgana was the vessel for a spell or curse that made everyone around her fall asleep. Killing her was the only way to break the spell. I poisoned her and used her as a bargaining chip to save Camelot." Merlin explained as tears started to come. Gwaine nodded in understanding but the warlock wasn't done yet. "You should've seen her back then, Gwaine. She was beautiful. She was always so kind and caring and innocent."  
>"Was that when Morgana disappeared?" He asked and Merlin nodded. Seeing as there was nothing else to do, he just kept talking.<br>"Not long before, Morgana told me she had magic, she confided in me but I never told her we were the same. In the end I even betrayed her It feels like I personally drove her right into Morgause's manipulative arms."  
>"It's been eating away at you, hasn't it?" Gwaine asked.<br>"Yes." Merlin answered hoarsely keeping the tears from flowing.  
>"But you'd do it again, to save Camelot?" Gwaine asked a bit hesitant, fearing the answer he might give her.<br>"I don't know. I would avoid the conflict altogether and poison myself instead." Merlin joked with a sad smile, something Gwaine would sooner do.  
>"That's not an answer." Gwaine insisted.<br>"It frightens me to say but, despite what she's done, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to watch her life fade away, not again."  
>"You're picking her over Camelot?" Gwaine asked incredulous.<br>"I'm afraid I do." Merlin answered seriously but only now taking in the meaning of what he just said, he might as well hang himself.  
>"You're enchanted." Gwaine stated and Merlin cracked a smile at his optimism.<br>"To what end? _Sir_ Ucron was perfect, throwing it all around is of no use to her." Merlin reasoned which saddened Gwaine quite a bit. The click of the door kept Gwaine from asking any more questions, Merlin had a visitor.  
>"I'm glad you haven't forgotten about me."<br>"My dear boy, I told you to be careful." Gaius whispered, harbouring a sorcerer still bore the penalty of death.  
>"Gaius, Merlin told me some disturbing things and I fear he has been enchanted." Gwaine stated.<br>"I'm not." Merlin countered unnecessarily as the physician was already shaking his head in denial.  
>"If only it were so." Gaius wished. "It's time for his trial."<br>Merlin gulped, hoping everything would pan out in his favour.

And then he stood before King Arthur. Was he to plead for his life, beg for forgiveness?  
>"You have been accused of using magic, how do you plea?" Agravaine asked.<br>"Innocent, my lord." Merlin remained respectful, it was his fate being decided after all.  
>"You do realize both I and Agravaine saw it, don't you?" Arthur asked and Merlin got to plead his case and confess all he had done.<br>"You speak of magic as if it is the embodiment of evil when it's not. Magic is as good or evil as any sword, it's a tool. It is how you choose to wield it that defines a person.  
>I was born with magic, does such a thing forfeit my life before it has even begun?<br>I have practiced magic for years and wielded it in your defence, you have no idea how often I have used it to save you and every single time all you could do was bully me, criticise me, because I had to hide it.  
>Since my first day in Camelot, I have used it to protect you. The witch Mary Collins who sought to avenge her son, I stopped her by dropping the chandelier and pulling you away from the knife she threw.<br>Sir Valiant lost control over the snakes in his shield because I had called them out.  
>When an Afanc poisoned the water, I cured Gwen's father and set the Afanc aflame.<br>Even without magic I would give my life for you, with the poisoned chalice during the negotiations with Bayard.  
>I even killed the imposter Edward, <em>one of my own<em>, to save your father.  
>Sophia, the girl you once thought of running away with, was a Sidhe who had enchanted you and planned on sacrificing you. If Morgana hadn't told me about her vision, I wouldn't have been able to stop her.<br>With the Wraith, I gave your father an enchanted sword for nothing else can slay the dead.  
>In my village, in Ealdor, <em>I <em>was the sorcerer and not William.  
>The Lady Catrina, the troll that married Uther, if it weren't for me then you would never have found out..<br>When Morgause had tricked you into fighting your father, despite his continuous war on magic, I persuaded you not to kill him.  
>The great dragon that attacked Camelot was defeated by my magic, claim what you wish but you never saw it's corpse.<br>The undead that attacked Camelot were defeated by me, not Morgana, she was even the one to have conjured them up in the first place.  
>I took the fall when Morgana framed Gwen of having magic.<br>When the Dorocha laid waste to Camelot, I sacrificed myself for you.  
>During the duel with Derian, the champion of queen Annis, Morgana had enchanted your sword. I restored balance by making Derian strain his back.<br>I was born with magic and I've saved both Uther and you more times than I dare count, can you not see magic is neither good nor evil?"  
>There it was, a list of almost all of his accomplishments. A few were missing but those took too much explaining or risk someone else's life. Arthur was frozen save for blinking. The warlock could only hope his speech had made a difference.<br>"You were the old man I imprisoned when Morgana tried to frame Gwen?" Arthur asked.  
>"Yes!" Merlin confirmed to get him over his amazement but he had spoken before thinking.<br>"Then you also killed my father." Arthur concluded and this was exactly what Merlin shouldn't have told him. He should've said he _found_ that old man, not actually being him.  
>"No, it was never my intenti-" Merlin wanted to explain but Arthur wouldn't listen.<br>"Quiet!" The King bellowed.  
>"You killed him! You killed my father! Merlin, you are hereby judged guilty of the use of enchantments and magic and this crime bears the penalty of death." Arthur voice was flat and without emotions. Merlin wanted to walk up to him, to tell him all he had done for him, but he already had and it made no difference.<br>"WHY ARE YOU SO BLIND?" He shouted as guards grabbed him arms from both sides. As he was being pulled away from the King and towards the exit, Merlin glanced at the Knights. Sir Leon, the knight he knew the longest, was being _loyal to his king_, not raising a word in protest. Elyan was quiet as well, did he even know half of what he and Gwen had been through all those years? Would he not raise his voice for his sister? Percival, if there ever was a time for him to speak up then it would've been now. Of course the ignorant brute kept quiet again, how typical. Gwaine, the greatest vagabond of Camelot, had nothing to say either. He really was one of Arthur's knights, the kind of knight he hated himself, a nobleman who kept his mouth shut and pretended to stand tall above the rest of the people. Not even Gaius, his guardian, said but a word in his defence. He was still the same sanctimonious sorcerer as he was during the purge. Gwen wasn't even there, maybe a good thing since now he didn't know what to think of her. Lancelot would've stood up for him but he was gone. He sacrificed himself to close the rift between worlds, the only one strong enough to be selfless.

Back in the dungeon Merlin just sat and thought, his anger fading away but not for the King. How could he have been so wrong about Arthur? It had been said before, he always tried to see the good in people even if it weren't there.  
>"You almost told him everything." Gwaine stated as his eyes fell upon the prisoner.<br>"There's so much more but they are small things though it should've been enough." Merlin answered bitterly. Gwaine sighed, he sympathised with the young warlock.  
>"I'm sorry." Gwaine said.<br>"If anything, I'm disappointed in Arthur. I thought he would realize that his father's ways were wrong." Merlin replied.  
>"He will." The knight tried to reassure him.<br>"All the times that Morgana told me it should be her on the throne and not Arthur, she was right all along."  
>"Sure, add another count of treason to the list." Gwaine joked but Merlin could do one better. "What would they do to me? Burn me twice?"<br>The two chuckled at the thought. Gwaine was a good man, at least he was there even if he was his jailor.  
>"Gwaine, could you get me a few pieces of parchment and a quill? I want to write my goodbyes." Merlin asked and Gwaine nodded in agreement, it was the least he could do for his friend.<p>

* * *

><p>Meanwhile the King was in his chambers with his future queen and she was furious.<br>"He did NOT kill your father, that Gleeman fellow did. Merlin gave you the chance to say goodbye, have you any idea how precious that is?" Gwen was crying near the end, she had never been able to say goodbye to father the way she wished she had.

* * *

><p>"Gwaine, I finished writing." Merlin spoke as he held out the writing utensils. The knight took the tools from his hand and put them on a nearby table. The moment Merlin saw a glimpse of the key he cast an enchantment.<br>"_Caega, cum her._" The key broke from the keychain and into his hand. Gwaine turned around to ask him what the hell he was doing. Merlin, on the other hand, had no intention of even speaking with him.  
>"<em>Forb fleoghe!<em>" He chanted and Gwaine was pushed against the wall, rendering him unconscious. Merlin opened the cell door with the key and planted the letter he had written for Arthur on Gwaine. He then proceeded heading to the surface where the guards were busy with their usual game of cards.  
>The former manservant thought for a moment and went back down to pick up the tray that had been used to deliver his meal. Holding out the tray as the servant he used to be allowed him to simply walk past them, paying no attention to him <em>at all<em>.  
>Once outside he headed for his chambers, hiding from guards around corners and behind statues.<br>He was lucky Gaius was fast asleep and went to his room. Merlin pulled up the loose floorboard and took his book along with the staff of the Sidhe which Gaius had hidden behind an old tapestry. Just before leaving the room he placed a letter on the table.

_Dear Gaius, dear Gwen,_

_I want you to know none of this is your fault, you've always done right by me.  
>You've been like family though I haven't said it as often as I should.<br>But now I must leave you and Camelot for a new life, wherever it may be.  
>I don't expect you to understand what I'm doing, I wouldn't if I were you.<br>All I want you to know is that neither of you are to blame.  
>Arthur's lack of understanding and his eagerness to follow his father's rule forced my hand.<br>Gwen, take care of Arthur, guide him well and he will become a great king.  
>Gaius, please don't come looking for me.<em>

_I hope we will meet again._

_Signed, Merlin_

Outside he sighed, it felt like he was 10 years old and running away from home. The lower town was almost empty but not quite yet.  
>Someone saw him, Merlin rushed to the shadow.<br>He got his hand around and arm and pushed it against one of the shop's walls, his other hand covering the mouth to prevent any screaming. She struggled a bit but stopped when she realized he wasn't doing anything.  
>"Take care of him, Gwen. Without you, he'll become like Uther." Was all he said before the alarm bells were sounded and he made a run for it. Arthur cursed when he heard the alarm bells, there was not a doubt in his mind that Merlin had escaped. Gwaine entered the room and Arthur was spitting fire. Being handed Merlin's letter, however, silenced him immediately.<p>

_Arthur,_

_I'm sorry for all that has happened and it saddens me to see you follow your father's ways.  
>All I've done for you I did out of good faith. There were times you could be a complete prat but I've always felt more a friend than a servant.<br>There were times that I was proud of you, like when you lifted the curse of the unicorn.  
>Other times I couldn't stand you but that was mostly because of chores as when you made George teach me 'the craft'.<em>

_But I'm afraid that time has passed.  
>You refuse to see magic neither good nor evil, refuse to see that we are not shaped by magic but our magic is shaped by us.<br>Many times Morgana told me it should be her on the throne but I thought you better, only to now find I am sadly mistaken.  
>I am leaving Camelot, never to return again. All I ask of you is to leave me in peace, that we may go our separate ways.<em>

_Farewell._

_Signed, Merlin_


	9. Chapter 8

Since his escape from his prison in Camelot, Merlin didn't really know where to go. Ealdor came to mind but that plan went belly up real fast. At the time he did consider it rather obvious but if there was any decensy left in Arthur, he would be fine. Merlin's 'trick' was not to go to Ealdor as quickly as possible but as slowly as possible. There were quite a few taverns between Ealdor and Camelot and Merlin forced himself to become acquinted with all of them. This made the journey take four whole days and nearing the border with Essetir, his heart sank. He saw Elyan riding into Essetir. He wasn't wearing Camelot's colours, that would make it an invasion, but Merlin recognized him regardless. He couldn't help himself from comparing Arthur to Uther, both of them would risk war to hunt down a single person. If it was any consolation, the warlock now understood how his father must have felt.

His second choice was seeking out Morgana but that might end up even worse. She had shown her love for him and he could hardly imagine just how difficult that must've been for her. The tears he had seen in her eyes when he left, putting Arthur before her, _again_. She would hate him more than ever before.

He could no longer fullfill his destiny, not after saving Morgana and becoming an outcast. Why had he done that? He couldn't kill her, that he knew, but that didn't mean he had to save her. But he did and he _did_ know why. Love, all the chaos of life in a single emotion.

Now he was back, sitting by the lake where it all began. The place where Morgana saved him from a cold, watery death so she could kill him herself only that didn't happen. Torture, yes, they had gotten that far. Her dagger cutting open wounds far deeper than the shallow ones on his skin, breaking apart the stone wall he had wrapped around his heart so carefully. And then a kiss that brought him so very close to leaving Camelot forever.

Then he escaped and, with her help, saved Arthur. They saved the King together. And despite all he had done for Arthur, all the sacrifices he made for Camelot, he got burned for it. William, Freya, Morgana, Balinor, Lancelot, people he had come to care about had died for the royal traitor. Morgana might live still but in his mind, she had died for him.

"Now you know how I felt." A voice spoke behind him. Even if he hadn't recognized her voice, it could hardly be anyone else.  
>"You have every right to hate me." he confessed as Morgana sat down besides him.<br>"I'm sorry about your conviction. I saw it happen and at the time I believed it would be for killing a knight. I thought that eliminating Ucron would prevent it, not set it in motion."  
>"Why aren't you angry with me?" He asked, genuinely confused.<br>"Who says I'm not?" She replied and Merlin feels grief come over him. He was losing absolutely everything.  
>"I'm not," She continued with a rare smile he recognized from all those years ago, when she was the Lady Morgana and they were still friends."because now you understand. Why didn't you come to me sooner?" She asked.<br>"When I left you, I thought you'd never forgive me. I was afraid you'd think I had been toying with your feelings. To be honest, I didn't know if they were real in the first place." Merlin explained. At this point he was so very much like her. Being betrayed, losing everything and nowhere to go. Arthur had spies, even outside of Camelot.  
>"But you know now?" Morgana needed clarification, it was the last question that <em>needed<em> answering.  
>"When Ucron tried to kill you. You were being selfless, protecting Arthur, for <em>my<em> sake. I knew I couldn't kill you but it was then that I realised I didn't want you to die at all. You were worth the risk of showing my true nature. I care for you more than my greatest secret. I just regret not realizing it sooner, before everything went to hell."  
>"But you're Emrys." Morgana argued. Agravaine had told her Merlin was actually the old man and thus Emrys.<br>"Emrys died with my faith in Arthur, my destiny is forlorn. I told him not to come after me but he sent Elyan to Ealdor, crossing the border. It's Balinor all over again."  
>"Who's Balinor?" Morgana asked.<br>"He was my father and a Dragonlord. Near the end of the purge Uther convinced Balinor that he wanted to make peace with the dragons but tricked him into imprisoning one instead followed by killing my father. With Gaius' help, my father fled to Ealdor where he met my mother. Not even the border made Uther relent, now Arthur's doing the same to me."  
>"I'm sorry." She tried to comfort him.<br>"For years I have protected him and this is how he repays me." Morgana could hear the bitterness in his voice and see the tears in his eyes. He really did know how she felt. He was remembering everything, it just wasn't fair. "I sacrificed so much for him. You, my father, William, Freya, Lancelot and several times I was willing to die for him. I thought he would understand, he should've."  
>"But I'm glad you're here now." Morgana tried to comfort him.<br>"I should've told you so much sooner." Merlin realised he was a bit vague and added "About everything."  
>They sat their for a while until whatever was brewing inside the warlock's mind came to its boiling point.<br>"Do you love me?" Merlin asked.  
>"With all my heart." She said as she tenderly kissed his cheek.<br>"But you still want Camelot?"  
>"Yes." She admitted softly, almost scared of what he might say.<br>"Then Emrys will be _their _doom."


	10. Chapter 9

They were back at Morgana's hovel and Merlin's words still rang in her ears.  
><em>Emrys will be <em>_their__ doom.  
><em>It made her stomach twist and turn. Was the Cailleach wrong or was Merlin faking the whole thing? He flinched when he saw the chains hanging from the ceiling and he unconsciously felt his wrists. The first thing Morgana did was remove them and hid them behind the chest in which she kept her tools, tools not meant for torture.

Meanwhile Merlin wasn't _that_ much at ease either. He had been tortured here, twice, and everything in sight was a constant reminder of it. The warlock told himself to get over it, however difficult that might be. What was far more important was finding a way of striking Arthur and Camelot so she could sit on the throne. It wasn't an unpleasant thought to see her back on the throne but it would take more than a bit of effort.

Morgana's original plan with Sir Ucron had been perfect but not anymore, certainly not for Merlin who wanted to see the King suffer. Arthur would be far more careful in his selection of future knights. A new plan had to be thought up during which Morgana revealed Agravaine's allegiance. Merlin wasn't surprised, he had been on to him for a while. At some point Morgana dared to show him the artefact her sister had left her and Merlin pulled out his book of magic.

It was a coin of necromancy, to resurrect someone to serve as a shade. Tossed into a gateway between worlds, usually waters in which too much blood had been spilled. Gaius' history lessons served Morgana well as she knew of such a place, the Pool of Nemhain.

Merlin was new to all the plotting and scheming but with a few pointers came up with the most brilliant of plans. The sheer cruelty of his plan convinced Morgana that Merlin was dead set on making Arthur miserable. It was a bit scary to see him pick it up so quickly but maybe even Merlin had let his dark side wander in his dreams every now and then. She should have convinced Merlin to join her long ago. The plan did not only take into account the king's faithful knight but were actually part of the plan. With all the time he had spent with them, Merlin knew them inside out; hopes, dreams and weaknesses. That left Gaius and Gwen. Gaius had magic but out of practice and Merlin wouldn't hesitate to kill him if he got in their way. _"Merlin, You can't tell her about your magic!"_ Perhaps things might not have turned out so bad if he had told her from the very beginning.

Their journey to the Pool of Nemhain was surprisingly silent as Merlin was reading a book, one of hers, save for the few questions she asked him. Near the end Merlin folded the corner of page and put it away, smiling. Morgana wondered what it was he had been looking for but discarded the thought when the dark waters were in sight. They dismounted and she passed the reigns to Merlin without thought. A bit shocked she looked back at the warlock believing it must've angered him to be treated like a servant, but he gave her a lopsided smile thinking she was being rather cute while he tied the horses to a tree. He followed her into the water until they were up to their waist in the lake. Hesitantly she threw the coin into the water hoping that she wouldn't be casting away her sister's final gift in vain. Bubbles came to the surface and from the waters rose Lancelot, just like Merlin remembered.  
>"My lady, my lord, my name is Lancelot and I am yours to command."<p>

"He was once so mighty and now he's nothing but a shade." Morgana mused as Lancelot lay on the bed, sleeping.  
>"Death stripped him of his memories, his personality and everything else that made him Lancelot." Merlin spoke light-heartedly considering they were friends. Morgana turned around to reply and saw the warlock concocting a potion. Seeing as Merlin and potions didn't get along in the time of the druid boy, Morgana got up and looked over his shoulder.<br>_Memory Potion_ was all the page said.  
>"You want to return his memories?" She asked. Merlin put his hand on the flask and shook it while he answered her.<br>"Not exactly" He took his hand off the flask and drank it in a single go.  
>"What the hell are you doing?" Morgana exclaimed not knowing Merlin had practiced a lot since the day he poisoned her.<br>"It'll help me focus." He replied as he sat down on the bed and put his hands on either side of Lancelot's head. Morgana saw his eyes glow gold just before he closed them and Lancelot's opened. The knight's eyes seemed to be glowing and upon looking closer she saw people and places move inside them, like a small vision. All three of them gasped, one setting off the other, as Merlin opened his eyes and Lancelot sat upright.  
>"Who is Gwen?" Merlin asked the shade.<br>"Lady Morgana's maid." Lancelot replied looking at the witch behind him. The shade's tone of voice betrayed he still didn't have much personality but the living Lancelot's personality was shaped by a life Merlin had no knowledge of. Merlin had given him the memories he required and kept everything else from him, that was what the potion was for, Lancelot would just have to fake the rest.

All that remained was a believable story for Lancelot's return to Camelot and then all the pieces would be moved into place.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

Bringing back Lancelot might feel a bit cheap but it's not Lancelot du Lac, Merlin has far greater plans with him.  
>Reading all the reactions on a dark Merlin, I've gotten some ideas for a full-length story in which Merlin becomes truly evil, even cruel at times. Does that sound good?<p> 


	11. Chapter 10

**AN:**  
>The story is nearing 'M'-rated but I'm going to gamble and keep it 'T' since fictionratings is on the fritz.<br>Now might be a good time to add a follow in case changed to M and gets lost behind the default story filter.

"He wasn't in Ealdor." Elyan reported to his King.  
>"Are you sure?" Arthur asked.<br>"I've spent three days there, his mother offered me his bed for the night. She doesn't know what's happened." Elyan replied and Gwen stepped forward.  
>"Arthur, he asked you to leave him alone. You can't expect him to welcome a knight with open arms."<br>"This is all my fault. I shouldn't have condemned him like that but I would never have let him burn on the pyre." Arthur moped.  
>"Sire," Agravaine asked for his attention "You can't exclude the possibilty that the knights forced him into Morgana's hands."<br>"I'm sorry, uncle, but I refuse to believe that. I know Merlin, he'd never do that." The King argued.  
>"You didn't know he had magic nor why he saved Morgana." Agravaine countered. Arthur couldn't answer that question and, to make matters worse, it actually reminded him of the time he caught Merlin outside her chambers and accused him of being in love with her. He hadn't much ground to accuse him on but what if he was right after all? What if Merlin saved Morgana because he was still in love with her?<br>"Gaius, where else might Merlin go?" Arthur asked and the physician was confronted with how he might have neglected his ward as he couldn't provide a decent answer. For once he couldn't say the boy was at the taverns and other than that he didn't really know where Merlin might go to, other than Ealdor.  
>"I'm afraid not, Sire." Gaius reluctantly admitted. The court physician heard the voice of someone almost forgotten call his name, in his mind. After the meeting was finished, he got a horse from the stables and rode into the forest, to the only clearing where the owner of the voice may obscure himself from sight.<p>

"It is time for us to talk, old friend." Kilgharrah greeted him.  
>"Yes, you too must have felt the change in the winds." Gaius replied.<br>"Indeed. Merlin has moved off the path set before him and I can no longer find him."  
>"You sensed his presence in Camelot, you can't sense him anymore?" Gaius asked.<br>"He's found out how to block it and I fear it is the witch's doing."  
>"Arthur wanted to have him executed for magic and he escaped. I too fear he has sided with Morgana."<br>"How is the King?" Kilgharrah asked.  
>"Conflicted. He is sorry for what he has done but he won't lift the ban until Merlin proves he is not corrupted by his magic. I fear Merlin will only return when the ban has been lifted."<br>"Beware, Gaius, there may be dark days ahead of us."

On his way back to Camelot Gaius saw a familiar face on horseback.  
>"Lancelot?" Gaius exclaimed.<br>"Gaius!" The knight greeted him with a smile. "It's good to see you again."  
>"Y... Yes, and you." Gaius returned. According to Merlin's story Lancelot was dead but he seemd very much alive to the physician, he should know. The rode back to Camelot together as Lancelot told the explanation put into his head by the sorcerers.<p>

Back at Morgana's hovel, there wasn't much left to do but wait. Something Merlin really didn't like doing anymore and things were becoming awkward. Their meeting at the lake hadn't actually explained that much. They loved each other, yes, but all they had done and talked about was exacting vengeance.  
>"Are you sure about this?" Morgana asked all of a sudden. Merlin understood why she had to ask, he had been Arthur's most loyal servant and now his greatest enemy. The warlock got up and sat down next to the witch. Gently he put his hand on her cheek, silently wondering how he could've thought her different. He always thought the Lady Morgana was dead but she didn't change that much, she had merely chosen new enemies, greater enemies. Her allegiance had shifted but being on her side, hearing her voice tremble as if she were scared of something, she was still Morgana.<br>"I love you and I know how much you want the throne. I won't have you choose between the two when you don't have to, when I can help you. I will never turn my back on you ever again, you're far too precious to me for that." He told her and she was picked up where he had left off, when he had left, with her lips on his. This time there was nothing to hold back either one of them now that they were the same, betrayed by Camelot with no one to care for but each other. Morgana got up and pulled him along without breaking the kiss. Merlin worked her up against the wall, fighting for dominance and the edges of Morgana's lips curved upwards. She liked this Merlin, he was darker and fierce but still very much the man she had fallen in love with, only better. Morgana began to tug at his jacket and as the jacket neared his hips, his hands were behind his back and Morgana made them switch places to work him up against the wall instead. Merlin growled as his hand moved to the back of her dress and felt the laces that kept it in place. Lust guided his magic and the pieces of string were undone. The dress was starting to lose its grip and the moment she noticed she broke the kiss and took a step back, holding her dress up. Merlin looked very guilty and sorry for what he had done up until the moment she took a look at the bed and smiled mischievously at him.

**AN:**

Next chapter is dedicated to Lancelot.  
>I've got the urge to write a chapter with a massive word count only the statistics tell me that's not what the readers like.<br>The amount of views halved after I posted chapter 8 which had over 2.5K words (it's usually less than 1000).


	12. Reboot

First of all, please read this entire Author Note:

I will not be continuing this story for several reasons:

It has only two chapters I'm actually pleased with. The rest of it is rather bland.

The planned plot is too cruel to fit the story. Merlin is a bit dark in this one but, in the end, he's not dark enough and (partially) lacks reason to do it.

I'm rebooting this (or rather the general idea) as Destiny is Dead (/s/8892471/1/)

Destiny is dead will be longer and darker in which you'll not see Dark!Merlin but Evil!Merlin who is far more devious than the one in this fic.  
>It will also have more suspensecliffhangers, a better plot and a more convincing reason for Merlin to change.

My apology if this ruins your day.

Thanks go out to those who have submitted reviews, especially those who have written more than 1.


End file.
